"MS schmemess"
Teri Garr travels across the country, speaking openly about having multiple sclerosis. Today on the show she said something I really related to: “People think that if you have MS that you are automatically drooling and in a wheelchair.”
Teri is out there fighting the stereotype of chronic illness that people who don’t live with the disease create.
My husband Richard was diagnosed with MS over 30 years ago. And people come up to me all the time…”Poor, brave Meredith.” There’s nothing "brave" about me--I’m no different than anyone else. When you live with chronic illness, it is your life. And there are good days and bad days (and most of them are good days).
I’m not saying MS or any chronic illness is a piece of cake. But knowledge gives hope. When you receive a diagnosis like MS, you take a huge jump from being "able" to being "disabled." It’s like going from an A to a D in the way you perceive yourself, and it’s only with knowledge and connection to others that you can find the focus and deal with it. Because in the end, chronic illness is about dealing.
Living with MS can be like living in a foreign country-you don’t know the language. When you are diagnosed you hit the ground running and very often you don’t have anyone to turn to.
I see the gratitude that people with chronic illness and their families have toward Richard for writing about living with MS in his book. People thank him for giving them a voice.
And that is what Teri Garr is doing--giving people with chronic illness a voice. And by hearing her, it makes them a little less scared.
And having a sense of humor--I know it goes a long way in our family in coping with Richard’s illness. So many families don’t want to upset their kids with the truth, but I believe that what children don’t know scares them. And as in the case of Teri Garr’s daughter, your kids don’t let you use the illness as a crutch. “MS schmemess” says Teri’s daughter.
Of course there are harsh realities. As Teri said, if you don’t have symptoms, be careful who you disclose your diagnosis to because employers may discriminate. (Richard’s boss said to him years ago at CBS that if they had known that he had MS, they might not have hired him.)
Seeing Teri and what she’s done and her ability to be open with herself and to others is a wonderful statement. I don’t know if I would have known Teri Garr if it had not been our connection to MS. It’s not a club I would choose to join, but boy, you sure meet some interesting people.
We had another “MS” on the show today--Martha Stewart. And in my little world she’s scary too--for an entirely different reason. She’s so "perfect," but again, once you get to know this "MS" you realize she’s actually just like us (except that she’s really worked at her talent!).
What I found in doing this little floral arrangement today with Martha was her generosity. Rather than block me, she welcomed my efforts (I always go into those craft and cooking segments with a little chip because I feel like I’m not good at them).
The assignment she gave me was to put flowers in a gourd. Once she said to me "That looks beautiful"--whether she meant it or not--I suddenly felt empowered. I was going to put a flower in every gourd!
In fact, I plunked my flower arrangement down in front of Teri Garr.
MS meets MS.
Meredith,
I saw both segments this morning. I'm a HUGE Teri Garr fan, but was really surprised and disappointed to hear that people with MS aren't supposed to disclose their disease unless they have to. Isn't that WHY there are so many wrong impressions about the disease out there - lack of information??? I trust her opinion, your opinion and Richard's opinion - but it made me really sad to think that people with MS (I have a friend w/it too) can't be honest about their situation to employers and others so that more of us can understand what people who live with MS go through.
I appreciated your comments and Teri 's on the show very much. As a person with MS, I was elated when you joined the today show, hoping for some more mention and information about the disease. You and Richard are an inspiration.
I hope that some of your producers would consider some segments on caregivers and caregiver fatigue. Right now, I am more concerned about my husband and his role as a caregiver that I am about myself.
In any event, thank you so much -- I start my day with you and your colleagues and you always make it a good day.
Hi,,
All I want to know is how many hours does Meredith have on the Today Show? Katie had 3 hours and after 9:00am I don't see Meredith anymore.
Please reply,
Thanks much,
Betty
Hi Miss Meredith! I enjoyed you on "The View", I haven't seen you yet on "Today" but, I'm enjoying your blog entries. =)
I just turned 47 and was diagnosed with MS 5/03. I'm still dealing with the acceptance of it. I have okay days & bad days. I've been using my rolling walker more, especially outside, I'm at home now and I don't drive. That's a real bummer! I love to drive. Vrooom!
I'm very blessed though, I've been married to a wonderful man for 25 years. I met him when he was 18, I was 19 (I robbed the craddle!). He is patient with me, but doesn't allow me to steal a mile when he's giving an inch. Ya know what I mean? I wouldn't want that either, and sometimes it would just be easier or faster for him to do something but I'll do it, and I'VE
accomplished something. Hooray for me!
We're fortunate, we have one child- a daughter, she's 23 and in the Navy. Things are good.
I know some people don't agree with stars speaking on behalf of everyone, but at least MS is getting the spotlight. Tracy
Meredith,
You and Richard inspire me.
One day in the summer of 1998, I was feeling sorry for myself since I was stuck at home missing work due to an asthma attack - my second in 6 months.
I turned on The View and you mentioned something about Richard's illness.
I felt really ashamed for throwing myself a pity party when my condition was much less severe than Richard's.
I found that once my attitude improved, so did my health.
I still have asthma, but I look at it as an annoyance that has to be accommodated instead of as a crutch.
I applaud the courage of Teri and your husband and I know you mean no ill will. But my dear wife was in tears after watching your show today, seeing yet one more account of a person "beating MS."
Such reports also need to point out that all cases of MS are not alike, that there is a very aggressive -- and often fatal -- type variously referred to as primary progressive. My vital love was stricken in her 40s, 10 years ago and is now in palliative care at home with nursing care.
She is greatly saddened when uplifting reports like yours fail to mention that for some versions of MS, the outlook is bleak.
She believes that without that distinction in reporting, many people will think less of her and others with the more serious type of MS -- wondering why they can't just get up and fight.
Research shows the types of MS may actually be "cousins" and not even the same disease. MRIs are different and drugs in more common types are of little use in hers.
She thinks the world of you and doesn't know I've responded.
The irony of your subject today -- on the same day that Rush Limbaugh pointed his finger at Michael J. Fox and claimed that his tremors were ALL an act -- makes us realize how too many people fear "differences." Also, it's a sad commentary on the fact that politics is overstepping its boundaries.
What your husband, Richard, Teri Garr and Michael J. Fox have in common is that they've learned to "deal" with challenges and now know how to LIVE!
love your blog, m! I was wondering if you have talked to any of your old view-hosts lately? What do you think about the situation with Elizabeth and what happened on law and order:svu?
I really liked your interview with Teri Garr.
Let everyone know they come up with something new every day. My husband was diagnosed with CML Oct. 3, 1994. Not much hope at the time. Used interferon which had just been getting good results, but makes you feel like flu all the time and means a shot every day( doc said longest 7 years atmost) then Gleevac wonder drug FDA approval. He is now in remission. Support research , that is why drugs cost. If we did not have insurance (33000 a month without it) I am sure Phil would not be here now. ? how would he have been treated without insurance and what about those who don't have it . TOPIC? Miss you work nights no today for me , wish i had tvio,view is not the same miss hearing about your family you can rally realate to moms
I think that more illnesses and conditions should be put out there. People need to understand that there is no stereotype and that there are real people behind the illnesses. My son was born with a cleft lip and palate, and generally people treated him like he was drooling, too, and he is just fine. So, kudos to Teri and to your husband!
Anger is all I can feel after the interview with Teri, speaking of MS. Anita is a woman that did the walks, spoke to the groups, stayed in the work place and raised her two daughters. Then Anita disappeared. She disappeared to her hospital bed in her living room, strapped to a wheelchair, being feed by a caregiver and praying she doesnât chock to death on the last bit she took or scared to get her up in the morning for fearâ¦..
Many people live their full lives with MS but DAMN IT many just disappear. If this country knew how many just disappear, and they do drool, perhaps the money, time and research could come a bit quicker. Anita talked similar to Teri. I know if Anita had been given a crystal ball and saw her future, she would not be saying, "I thank God for each day". Every night my sister begs God not to give her a tomorrow.
Hello Meredith. I know what you mean by "stereotyping". It can be difficult when someone does it to you. I have been stereotyped (not for MS) for something.
Hey! I think that the fact that you stuck with your husband shows a lot about your character. You are this self accomplished celebrity, but yet you are also a loving, caring individual whose feelings does not depend on what is happening outside the realm of love. Good. Keep being faithful to your husband and that is the best thing you can do for him and humanity. Is there a cure for MS? If not, how likely is it to be discovered?
"Brave" or not, I admire you for sticking with and helping your husband -- it can't be easy, and sadly, not every spouse would do it. Kudos also to Ms. Garr, whose work I've admired for years.
Wow. Thank you for writing about this matter. I have to admit when I heard about your husband, I thought holy smokes. I felt bad and also wondered how you were managing, with him & the MS, the family and juggling the Today Show & Millionaire. So I apologize if any of what I thought and typed here offend you, and am happy you addressed this. God bless.
I watched your show on Friday morning with Teri Garr. I too suffer from MS but so far am still very active. I play golf, ride bikes and the like, but I was also surprised that she said that if you don't have symtoms, you shouldn't tell anyone you have MS. Because I am doing so well, I am pleased for people to know I have MS. I guess it gives them some type of hope if they are ever diagnosed with it or if someone they know gets it, that there are different stages of MS. I know there are a lot of people with MS that are worse than I am and I know it could easily turn worse for me at any time, but as long as I am able, I will stay as active as I can. Keep up the good work with MS and also on the Today show. You are doing a great job thus far.
I was dianosed with MS in 1996. I have acutually had it since around 1976 but could not get a diagnosis. I am also very active and do very well. But I agree wit Teri. I never mention it.
I'm having a real difficult time right now with my 2 older daughters - 47 and 49 yrs. old. I have a younger one - 29 yrs. old. I know Rheumatoid Arthritis is nothing like MS, but they are having a real hard time dealing with my illness and loss of activity and pain. My doctor is helping me as much as possible with medication. I'm going to have them read about Teri Garr and see if her information and ideas will help them accept me in a different way than they are now. They are telling everyone that I'm just crazy and mean.
Hello Meredith Wanted to ask if your son was mad at you for telling the world he was going trick or treating dressed as a girl?
Hi!
I am a 26 year old living with MS. Thank you for getting the word out there. Some people don't even know what MS is and to give it this kind of attention will hopefully make people realize and want to help find a cure. I keep a very upbeat attitude about the disease, even while parts of my body continue to lose function. My doctor says this is the best thing anyone with this disease can do, even when it is difficult. Thank you for bringing attention to this. I think you and your husband are amazing and you give me hope...
I miss you on the View! I think you are great and enjoy watching you but not your co-host. I wish you were still at the View!
I'm really sorry I missed the show - I read Richards book some time ago and really enjoyed it.
I have MS and my symptoms are now worse than ever. Sadly, it would appear I had the wrong insurance company for PHI and IP coverage. I was unfairly dumped from it's books way back in June and it feels like I've been unfairly put on the path to hell.
I'm certainly not alone. Just like hundreds of thousands of others who have been deceived in a similar fashion by the very same company. The whole situation is dreadful and why this type of serious fraud is allowed to continue on such a grand scale is way beyond me personally.
It would be wonderful for a famous person with MS to have a look at these very desturbing facts and perhaps they would have a much better chance than me, to help stop this awful deceit.
I have tried so hard on my own - now I must sell my home and wait for years on a jury trial to seek justice. It's depicable what a certain #1 Insurance Company is doing to so many geniune people.
does anyone know how teri garr can be contacted? fan club or other? my dad has MS and when he heard her story, he wanted to contactg her. thanks!
My husband left me due to my MS. Richard is lucky to have you, Meredith. My first husband left me due to Crohn's disease. They couldn't handle me having bad days. I am now on welfare since my second husband left me. I've always been middle-class. Life sucks but you have to go on. The house is in foreclosure because he stopped making payments. I will NOT live in section 8 housing. The conditions of section 8 here are horrible. I'm going to have to work to be able to afford an apartment. So I will lose out on Medicaid to pay for my meds. So I won't be able to take my expensive MS meds. I won't have a life just so I can have a decent roof over my head. There's a snowstorm here today and it matches my mood for today. Can you tell?
My mom is one of the drolling MS'ers. She has cronic progressive non remissive. And now the scarry part, my daughter, at age 18 was diagnosed with MS. Unfortunitly, her insurancce will not pay for in home car, and we are fighting to keep her home. She prays for her death and I pray for a cure. Please let the world know about the other types of MS. The daily injections, the bladder problems, eatting problems. Who knew that one day swallowing would be such an issue. I will never forget the daymy sister had her first child and my mother cried beacuse she could not hold her grandson.
My mom is one of the drolling, wheelcahir bound people with MS. She has cronic progressive MS. The world needs to know that there are horrible types of MS the rob you of everything. What to hear something really scarry? My daugher was diagonsed 2 years ago at age 18. I will never forget that day as longf as I live. My mothers insurance will not cover in home care and we are fighting to keep her in her home. She prays for death every day. I remember her crying the day my sister gave birth to her first child, a boy. My mom was crying because she couldn't hold him. Her arms don't work any more. Let the world know that not all MS is just a little glitch in life. It can be and is sometimes a horrible, painful, life threating illness that has no cure. Tears pour down my face after each time I see my mom. The thought of my daughter possibly ending up like that is too awful to describe. Thank god your husband is functional and you have the resources to help him, not all of us are that lucky.
Meridith seems to have a heart of gold she always has a lovely way about her and Richard is lucky to have her as a wife
My daughter has MS, the one that is robbing her life, how sad to see a young woman suffer, the fear she indures waiting when it will totally take her down. On numereous occasions she has stated she would rather be dead than live with this illness. For those who have the less sever kind, do no justice by saying how great life is with it, also if you are not finacially in a good situation, your hands are tied for medication or for even help with care.
My son was told he has M.S 3 weeks before he was to be married 2007. He was 30. Yes they married. He went 1 year before having another attack. At this time he is not taking medication because they want to have a baby and are afraid it may do harm. I'm so afraid for him because I won't be here to take care of him when he will really needs it, just in case she doesn't stay with him. It is such a commitment. He had a live blood test done by a naturopathic. He gave him 2 more vitamins to take. Said there was no permanent eye damage with the last attack.Thank god. Thank you for letting us share,Meredith and Keri,Montel and any one else out there with M.S.
I was just amazed after watching Jay Leno last night and heard Teri Garr explain how she had to learn to walk and talk after surviving a brain aneurysm.
Unbelievable! I didn't know she was already dealing with MS!!!!!!
I too survived a brain aneurysm. Life has changed drastically for me. Had to learn to walk and talk again too. Couldn't return to my job.
Terri, what a FIGHTER!!!